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American men will rush to get you in bed as quick as possible, while European men don’t appear to have the same rush (or desperation). European men don’t ‘date’ – in the formal way that Americans are used to.The types of dates seen in movies – the formal ask, the fancy dinner and the entire dance that ensues simply doesn’t exist in the European mindset, in fact, the word “dating” isn’t even a part of their lexicon. Unlike American culture, where there’s almost a rite of passage which takes two people from “hooking up” to “seeing each other” to “dating” to “exclusive”, these labels just aren’t a focus or concern for European men. Rather, the mentality is, “I like you, I want to see you, and if it’s enjoyable, let’s keep seeing each other”.In America, sexual education is not taught until one hits their teens, if they are taught at all. It’s no surprise that American men are left to their own devices, subconsciously learning about sex through porn and the media. The latest law passed in France where excessively skinny models need to prove their health is a testament to that.But when you’re surrounded by American media, filled with Barbie dolls, waif skinny models and Baywatch breasts, the idea of what ‘beauty’ is becomes skewed. European men have a quiet confidence, a demeanor that doesn’t need to scream out loud to prove themselves. The dating culture involves trying out many different options at the same time.Now, when I discuss the differences between European and American, I’m referring to a mindset. American men on the other hand, tend to be goal oriented, with the aim of getting laid.You can very well be born in America but have a more “European” mindset and vice versa. Perhaps this ‘score mentality’ is for bragging rights, perhaps it’s for validation so they can feel wanted and desired, or perhaps it’s a pure ego play.Everybody seemed so relaxed and excited and happy, lacking the judgement and the pretentiousness of the French.. While we failed on the Capri dating scene, my girlfriend did manage to have an experience in Napoli with a lovely police officer names Giuseppe. (Since I wasn’t that heartbroken, I still occasionally send him my dental X-rays for second opinion.) 7. I recently witnessed one of my girlfriends get swept off her feet by an Italian guy, resulting in some very entertaining vacation adventures. Her Don Juan happened to be , something my friend found out via Facebook an hour after they had bid arrivederci.And the women were glowing – not just from the Mediterranean sun, but from the obvious attention they were getting from the men! Never have I ever seen men dress like this in my life. Giuseppe could only speak English via Google Translator, yet this did not stop him from giving us a tour of the city, taking us out for lunch, and driving us to the airport on our last day. She wasn’t even stalking him – he had volunteered his information to “keep in touch”.
For example, in the Netherlands, comprehensive sexuality education starts at age four. Instead of cruelly dismissing someone by disappearing, they communicate that they are not interested. As the media in Europe is a lot more heavily monitored, Europeans grow up surrounded by media and images of women who are curvy, comfortable in their own skin, and sensual (versus overly sexualized).So does this mean the only hope for a happy, committed relationship is to move to another country? As mentioned above, the observations summarized above are not really about where one is born, but rather a mentality that is influenced by societal and cultural values.We must be aware of our own behavior in the dating game, because we are active participants in how we are treated.It’s impossible to understand who has time for all that pampering and laundering and ironing, until you find out that… My own Italian experience involves a Roman dentist named Mario who lived with his parents until the age of 30 – three years after they had purchased him his own apartment (presumably to get rid of him)! This is the place where “effortless” French gear will do. At 34, he finally resided on his own but still hadn’t gotten around to buying furniture, as he prefers to eat dinner at his mother’s. Pretend you do and just order takeaway,” says my Italian buddy. Every girl in Capri was groomed to an extent that I have previously only witnessed in Russia – think full makeup, off-the-runway Dolce, and torture-via-stilettos-on-cobblestones.
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The American way is loud and even arrogant at times. Call it the revolving door or hedging – there’s the idea in the American approach to dating that there’s always something better around the corner.